I don't understand why you ever bothered to check here. That message wasn't intended for you. It wasn't about you. And it wasn't an attempt to get at you. I'm okay with the decision you made about us. That doesn't mean I like it, but I accepted it and am okay with it. That's your choice and I cannot change it. My position on that can best be described as disappointed. I'm not going to explain that because I seriously doubt you care. But I've moved on. But whether you understand it or not, I formed a commitment and bonds with children, both those I knew and the one I didn't. I will not turn my back on that commitment or those bonds. The totality of this situation has pushed me to make it a life long mission and I will take it to my grave. I will never forget. And I will reach out later in life. Nothing you say or do can change that. But you so misunderstood my purpose. Believe it or not, I pray for blessings in your life. I pray that you find whatever relationship you are looking for. I pray that your job goes well. I pray that your needs are met. I pray that you have an abundance. And I pray that you find happiness and joy. My comments here were not about you. There's no point in you checking here or any of my other sites anyway. Why would you even care? You are right about one thing though. God will handle all things. And you are right that with God, all things are possible. I have repented and turned from the wrong I did. I sought to make amends for my wrongs. There isn't anything I wouldn't do today to make up for those things. More importantly though, I have surrendered to Him. I tell Him daily that I will do whatever He wants me to even if it is something I don't want to do. Will you? If you want to truly experience the blessings of God, you have to put His teachings and commands and tenants above even your own understanding and your own desires. Do you think God would smile on the way you are handling this today? My children ask regularly about their step-brothers. The last I recall, I didn't even ask to talk to them or see them but instead just that you would update me once in a while. Instead I have to get information elsewhere. Does God call us to forgive and to live in peace? Do you think God calls us to have compassion on each other? I can't nor will I answer those questions for you. But I hope you understand how richly blessed life can be when we truly surrender everything to God, especially those areas where we feel strongest and where we want most to do it our way instead of His way. Please, if anything here bothers you, stop checking it. It serves you no use or good anyway, even if it was intended directly for you. I don't know what else to say. I wish nothing more than I could share the things I've learned and the blessings I've received, but I know you wouldn't understand or believe me. That has to be between you and God. Know that I care. I am sincere when I pray for your happiness. I am deeply grieved for reasons I cannot explain and you would not understand even if I could. I care about the children. I sincerely hope that peace finds its way between us one day. I gave up trying to cause a change in this situation on my own long ago. I have moved on. I'm very happy and very blessed. I have people in my life that love me. There's no reason for the hostility that remains today. Release yourself from this mess and lets move forward. For your own happiness. AJ
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